How are you?

Like me, many of you might be familiar with the notion that the question “How are you?” is considered a greeting not a question. Last week a long-time friend I had not seen for a while reached out to me for a walking date and asked me that simple question. I thought about it for a minute and as we walked, we shared the current ups and downs in our lives. Fortunately, my down is limited to no travel, no going to restaurants and very little cultural and social diversion.

When I came home, I thought about the impact that simple question can have when we treat it as it is intended not as it is used so often. There is some debate whether this is actually the best question to ask but it is simple and open. So how wonderful to reach out to people around you and truly ask them “How are you?”. Maybe prompt them a bit more when the answer is “fine”. Then actually listen to what they have to say. Listening with the intent to hear and understand, not with the intent to answer. It may be difficult to only listen and maybe nod or hmmm to express that you are listening rather than offering suggestions to tackle the problem or start sharing you own (similar) experiences and problems as we tend to do. Simply offering a sympathetic ear will have great impact for both of you and may even strengthen your friendship.

Perhaps you would like to practice in these unusual times where we can all do with the support of each other. I am happy to lend my ear!