The missing chapter
I first read the poem ‘Autobiography in Five Short Chapters’ by Portia Nelson in the ‘The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying’. It was way before it became such a big hit on the internet (probably because in the mid 90’s the internet was not such a big hit itself…but that’s a different story).
If you are not familiar with the poem, here it is:
Chapter One
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost … I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes me forever to find a way out.
Chapter Two
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in the same place.
But it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
Chapter Three
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in … it’s a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.
Chapter Four
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
Chapter Five
I walk down another street.
I love the simplicity of this poem and the clear and well-recognized progression that resonated with my life, as well as my students’, but for many years now, I feel there is a need for a sixth chapter, one that has made and is still making the most significant change in my life today.
A month ago, I had a meeting with Anna, a long-time executive coaching client of mine. Anna is the president of a large international manufacturing company, and we were meeting to discuss a Coaching Culture workshop that I was planning for her top executives. She had a late breakfast, and I ordered tea, and we chatted about life and her progress at work. At some point in the conversation, she mentioned in passing her love for this poem, and I shared my thought on the missing sixth chapter. Her fork stopped mid-way in the air as she was thinking about what I just shared. She paused for a long while, “Wow”, she said, “I never thought about it that way, “You are so right! There is a need for the sixth chapter…You never talked about this before. Would you teach that in our workshop too?”.
So I set down and added a sixth chapter from the perspective of an executive coach and then realized I actually needed a seventh one too:
Chapter Six
I return to the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see people inside.
Some are stuck for a long time.
I chose to go into the hole with them
I hold their hand.
I understand. I was there.
Suddenly, there is a shift.
They get out,
they walk around or
They walk down another street.
They thank me, but I know it’s really all about them.
Chapter Seven
I return to the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see people inside.
Some are stuck for a long time.
The people I helped yesterday are now with them.
They are holding their hands, they understand, they were there.
I look at them.
I smile.
I keep returning to the same street.
I am planning to share these two chapters in my next Coaching Culture workshop with Anna’s team next month,
but until then, I’d love to hear what you think…
This article was originally posted on the Lead.Thrive.Inspire blog here
